Women At Risk: We Also Served

By Noonie Fortin
TALES AND WHALES PUBLISHING

used with permission

The original chapter was titled "BERNICE WHITESIDE," still her married name at the time this interview was conducted
(Click on photos to view a larger image of the picture)

Bernice (Mitchell) Whiteside US Army 08/1966 North Carolina

Chapter 32

John and Beatrice Mitchell both grew up near Greensboro, North Carolina. After getting married their first daughter, Doris was born. She was delivered by a midwife in her paternal grandparent’s home in the small town of Sugar Creek. The family moved to Newport News, Virginia where Bernice Lorraine Mitchell was born in Whittaker Memorial Hospital.

John got a job working at the Newport News shipyard until he joined the Army. Following his Basic Training he went off to fight in World War II as an enlisted man. He was a member of the 24th Infantry—an all Black unit commanded by a White captain. The only thing Bernice recalls John telling her was that he was scarred stiff because he was behind a big stationary gun, similar to a cannon, and every time he would fire it—his position would be revealed to the enemy. He fought in the South Pacific for two years.

By the time John came back from the war, Beatrice, Doris and Bernice were living at their maternal grandparent’s home in Brown Summit, North Carolina. John never joined them there. Now that Bernice looks back at this time in her life she thinks that perhaps he was struggling with PTSD—better known then as Battle Fatigue. John and Beatrice divorced a few years later. Back then—divorce was unheard of in both their family and community—but some things are necessary.

Meanwhile the two young girls grew up on their grandparent’s ninety-acre farm. There they learned how to grow, produce, manufacture, or improvise just about any creature comfort available to most folks during the great depression. Their grandparent’s taught them well just in case something like another depression should ever occur.

Since she and Doris rarely saw their biological father, Bernice didn’t call him Dad but rather she referred to him as Daddy John or John Mitchell. John had a stroke awhile ago and only recently did Bernice and he begin to talk about their own family history as well as his military history. Meanwhile, Bernice has always referred to her stepfather, Paul Watlington, as Dad. So I was surprised when she told me she prefers using her maiden name of Mitchell rather than her stepfathers or either of her married names.

Bernice’s stepfather didn’t speak much about his time in the service either. He was a cook in the Army with the 3987th Quartermaster Truck Company. When he died in 1989 Bernice finally had the opportunity to look at his Department of Defense discharge paper (DD214). That’s when she learned that he had received the Europe-Africa-Middle East Campaign Medal (EAMET) which had five bronze service stars attached to it. He had taken part in five distinct battle campaigns in Algeria, Africa; Rome, Italy; in Southern France; Rhineland (now called Germany); and in Central Europe and never really told anyone. He was discharged as a Technician Fourth Grade.

Other members of Bernice’s family had also served their country. One of her uncles had served during World War II. Another uncle served during the Korean War as an enlisted soldier. One of her cousins served in the Army and was commissioned as an officer during the Vietnam era. You could say this was a patriotic military family!

BUT Doris had no desire to be in the military. She finished high school and then graduated from Columbia Law School. Doris now teaches law in New York City. However, Bernice wasn’t interested in going to law school. She wanted to be a nurse.

Most of her family members had gone to college. However Bernice’s mother had chosen marriage over college when it was her turn. Bernice’s maternal aunts and uncles had graduated from North Carolina Agriculture and Technical College (NC A&T) now called North Carolina Agricultural and Technical State University. "It is a family legend." This became Bernice’s Alma Mater also.

During her third year at NC A&T Bernice joined the military student nurse program. "My family flew no flags and highly discouraged my joining the military." Beatrice "strongly opposed" Bernice’s desire to be an Army nurse. Bernice begged her mother and stepfather for three months trying to get them to sign on the dotted line. Then the women had to be twenty-one before they could sign themselves into the military.

She received her Bachelor of Science degree in Nursing from NC A&T in Greensboro in 1966. In August she was commissioned a Second Lieutenant (2LT) in the Army Nurse Corps. Her life was about to change forever. She was headed for Basic Medical Field Service School (MFSS) at Fort Sam Houston in San Antonio, Texas. Bernice was at Fort Sam from August through September 1966.

I attended an all Black school, graduated from an all Black college, lived in a predominately Black neighborhood, and attended an all Black church. The closest contact that I experienced with Caucasians was when I baby-sat their kids or when they threw raw eggs on me in the civil rights marches. Then I was off to basic training at Fort Sam and I found myself in a huge class that was 99.7% White. Now to get to the unusual part. Finally, I found two sisters [Black women] in the crowd. I went over to them but they treated me like a third shoe. What was I to do? When I went back to my Bachelor Officer Quarters (BOQ), there was my roommate sitting on the bed with blue eyes and long blonde hair. Everybody on my hall was Caucasian. I just wanted to

melt through the wall, but they wouldn’t let me. We had a great time, running up and down the hall and over to Mexico too. I still chuckle a little inside when I remember how my roommate would iron her hair on my ironing board.

Upon completion of Officer Basic Training Bernice’s Military Occupational Specialty (MOS) became 2448 Medical-Surgical Nurse. She was then sent to Walter Reed Army Medical Center in Washington, DC from September 1966 to July 1967 where she honed her skills. It was a good thing she did!

"I was no hero, I didn’t raise my hand and yell "Send me to Nam!" I was really enjoying my tour at Walter Reed Hospital, and not quite ready to venture so far from home. However, my orders for Vietnam were delivered to my desk with further orders to immediately clear the hospital. I was to report to Nam exactly thirty days from that day. Was this racism? When I was recruited for the Army, the recruiter told my parents and me (I was too young to sign for myself), "Only nurses who volunteer to go to Vietnam are sent to Vietnam." I soon learned that volunteering for the Army was tantamount to volunteering for whatever they had to offer."

Bernice arrived at the 3rd Field Hospital in Vietnam in August 1967. The hospital was located about one mile from Tan Son Nhut Air Force Base approximately ten miles northeast of Saigon. She was there for a year. Beatrice prayed everyday for her daughter’s safety. What follows is just a part of Bernice’s story.

"As far as social integration was concerned, my comrades and I worked together extremely well and had a lot of fun too. I soon realized that being an officer and being Black equated to being in the minority of the minority. I could choose to isolate myself or to integrate with the others. I chose the latter."

"As a nurse, I saw more trauma in one year than the average civilian nurse would see in ten years and I treated patients with diseases, which were rarely seen in the United States. I arrived in Nam as a naïve twenty-three year old, and left feeling like an old woman. My youth was stripped away in such a short period of time. I disembarked the

plane with my Geneva Convention Card safely tucked inside my wallet and the rules of engagement strongly imprinted in my mind. I went to work feeling secure under the shield of the Big Red Cross."

"All too soon I realized that none of it mattered to the enemy. That the Red Cross had seemingly turned into a target. I awakened each morning to the sound of the enemy’s rockets. But, beyond this, I felt that I was needed more than I had ever been needed before. I was constantly reassured that I was in the right place at the right time. I worked twelve-hour shifts six days a week and more when I was needed. I can remember a time during Tet that I worked thirty-six hours with an occasional two hour sleep break, but I was too afraid to go to sleep plus working was the thread that kept me sane in the midst of all the insanity."

"One of the situations that stand out in my memory bank is the first time that I cared for a soldier who had suffered a traumatic above-the-knee amputation. He had stepped on a land mine in the jungles of Nam. His foot was still in his combat boot and his boot was sitting above his shoulder on the litter. He looked to be not much older that fifteen. It was a good guess because he later admitted to falsely upping his age to get into the Army. He screamed and asked me why he couldn’t feel his leg. I looked into his eyes and promised him that he would be all right."

"As he was rushed into the Operating Room (OR), I knew that I had looked into his eyes and lied to him. I knew that he would live but I also knew that nobody’s child could be all right having to live the remainder of his life with only one leg. On that day, I stopped looking at eyes. Somehow, I remember the first one, but the rest seemed like an unending blur of tragedy."

The Tet Offensive began late on the night of 30 January 1968. Bernice was resting in her room when the phone in the hallway rang. She was Head Nurse on the Tropical Medicine ward and Relief Nurse in the Emergency Room (ER). This is what she remembers of that night.

"I ran down the hall and answered the phone. It was Major (MAJ) Margaret Bond (the chief nurse and my immediate supervisor). She screamed, "Red Alert! Get everybody to the hospital ASAP! Pronto!"

"I rounded up the clan and we got to the hospital pronto. I reported to my tropical medicine ward and within minutes was told to send all my patients who could hold a gun to the arms room. I did!"

"Next I was ordered to report to triage in front of the hospital near the entrance of the ER. The first thing I noticed was some of my patients lying on the ground with weapons drawn. The noise of weapons being fired so near by was deafening."

"It was dark out there—so dark that we had to use flashlights to start the Intravenous’s (IV’s). The litters were placed close together, a nurse next to each litter starting IV’s back to back with a never-ending flow of patients."

"The nurse (I cannot remember her name) who was manning the liter next to me let out a loud scream and dropped to the ground. When I turned to go to her, I was ordered back into the building. I hesitated. I was pushed and told that she had only just fainted. Then I was sent off to another ward to work."

"Almost twenty-seven years later, I learned that the aforementioned nurse had been seriously wounded by enemy fire, that she didn’t just faint, and whoever pushed me inside the building might have saved my life."

"I never saw MAJ Bond again after that night. I heard that she returned to the states for female surgery."

"After that night, days and events all seem to run together."

Somehow, through the grace of God and whoever pushed her back inside the building, Bernice survived that night. But a few months later she became ill. Everyone in-country was required to take pills to help prevent malaria and other diseases. Bernice was no different but she didn’t always do as she was told.

"Minutes after I took my first anti malaria pill, I broke out in a cold sweat and nearly hit the floor. The same thing happened after taking the second one. So I got myself checked by a doctor who noticed a sharp drop in my red blood cell count; however, he made no recommendations as to whether I should continue the malaria pills or not. Being a nurse, and not wanting to get shipped out in a body bag, I decided to stop taking the pills, so that I would be strong enough to work. In the meantime I was starting intravenous fluid on feverish malaria patients everyday."

"But, eleven months and thirteen days later, I became deathly ill, with a sustained temperature of 105 degrees. I was in and out of consciousness for nearly eighteen days with a diagnosis of Fever Unknown Origin (FUO). That was considered a time limited curable infectious disease; that is, if you got to the doctor in time, many troops died of it."

"The diagnosis of FUO was widely accepted as a legitimate diagnosis. The symptoms of this disease were identical to the symptoms of malaria and were treated in a similar manner, i.e. aspirin and copious amounts of intravenous fluids. The difference being that the test for malaria would be negative. The test for malaria involved placing a smear of blood on a slide, placing the slide under a microscope and looking for malaria parasites. I always felt that this FUO thing wiped out a lot of my memory. When I got home, I could not remember the names of people whom I had attended church with all my life. And it was a very small church. Some even seemed annoyed that I was blanking out their names."

"To sum it up, it was an exciting year, and I survived it. I must say that I have been truly blessed by God’s undying love for me. I must also give credit to the Twenty-fifth Infantry, those helicopter gun ships, Puff-the Magic Dragon, Captain George Skypeck, Military Intelligence (MI) for securing the perimeter, and many others who kept our hospital from being over run during the Tet offensive."

BUT while Bernice was in Vietnam many shows came to the hospital to help keep up the morale of the troops. "I was usually working and though I caught a glimpse of them I really cannot remember them." However she does remember meeting singer James Brown, thanks to members of his band. Bernice walked the mile to Tan Son Nhut to see the show. "I wasn’t really a James Brown fan, but my sisters husband’s two brothers were touring with him." Maceo and Melvin Parker had also attended NC A&T with Bernice. She really wanted to see someone from home and this was her opportunity. Bernice also vaguely recalled that "Charlton Heston, Fess Parker, Bob Hope, and General Westmoreland visited my hospital ward at the 3rd Field Hospital in 1967." I’m sure that short reunion with her friends helped her deal with the loneliness she must have been enduring being so far from home.

Bernice was promoted to Captain while she was in Vietnam. Unfortunately she came down with FUO shortly before she was to leave Vietnam. Upon completion of her tour of duty she reported to her next duty station.

When Bernice returned home her mother was "relieved that the nightmare was over." Beatrice just wanted to go on with life and perhaps not think about the war or the danger her daughter had been in. On the other hand, according to Bernice, her stepfather was the only family member who really seemed to be proud of her serving. He would take her to football games and "insisted that I wear my uniform and this was after Nam. The rest of the family would rather pretend that I never joined the military."

Some of the people I’ve talked with have commented that the television show "China Beach" was nothing like the real thing—while others said their experience was similar to it—not the layout but rather the show’s premise. "China Beach" had even done a show or two about the Tet Offensive. It’s amazing how real life can be depicted in television programs and movies. But it was all too real for many men and women who were there. So I asked Bernice her thoughts on the matter.

"The show 'China Beach' as I viewed it seemed to turn very traumatic events into comical interludes. The injuries of the patients appeared minimized and the deep emotions of the medical personnel seemed absent. Each episode of "China Beach" appeared to have a happy ending—not true in Nam. However, towards the end of the series, I think I can remember a few episodes which seemed more realistic. And just as I was beginning to appreciate the message, the show went off the air. I don’t think America was ready for the true version and many of the medical people were not ready to see it.

Once Bernice arrived at Fort Lee, Virginia she was assigned to Kenner Army Hospital. She was there from August 1968 to August 1969. Bernice left the Army upon completion of her tour at Fort Lee.

While she was in Vietnam Bernice met Harvey Dority. They had "a very superficial romance and married in May 1969 after we returned from Nam." Their daughter, Dana, was born April 1971 at Fort Gordon, Georgia while Harvey was stationed there—then as a Major in the Military Police Corps. Bernice and Harvey were married until 1978 before divorcing. However, they remain friends and "Dana remains the apple of her father’s eye." Although some children follow in their parent’s footsteps Dana didn’t. Instead she has become an Electrical Engineer.

Although Bernice grew up being called either Bunny or Bernie by her aunts and other family members, Dana provided her with a new name, Raine. She calls her mother that when she "wishes to get smart with me." Bernice decided to use it as her alter ego when she first got a computer and access to the Internet. Raine is who I came to know and I’m so glad I did. But on with her story.

Bernice went to work for the Department of Defense as a Civilian School Nurse. She was sent overseas to Stuttgart in West Germany from June 1973 to 1975. Then she decided to return to college. From 1975 to 1977 she attended the University of the District of Columbia in Washington, DC. Upon completion she received her Master of Arts Degree in Mental Health Administration.

In August 1978 Bernice reentered the Army as a Captain. Her first assignment was at Martin Army Hospital at Fort Benning in Georgia. "Once I was assigned to a ward where I out ranked the head nurse by nine months." It had to be an "oversight on someone’s part." While there Bernice’s name was submitted for promotion to Major but she was passed over. "My name was sent to the board with less time in the military than my colleagues had spent in the grade of Captain." She went to MFSS at Fort Sam in 1979 for the Head Nurse Management Course. Upon completion of the course she returned to Fort Benning. She was assigned to the position of Head Nurse at the Family Practice Clinic/Residency Training Program. She stayed at Fort Benning until August 1981. She decided to leave the Army once again before learning the results from yet another promotion board. BUT she did not give up educating herself. In 1989 she went to the Birmingham Regional Medical Education Center where she completed a course called Advanced Clinical Skills in Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

She was unmarried during her first time in the Army but married with a child when she entered the second time. Bernice feels that serving in the military had a negative impact on her family life as it related to her role as a mother. However she believes her expectations of military life were filled. "I was given the opportunity to care for many patients at a time when they needed me the most."

If given the opportunity Bernice would join the Army again. "I would not trade the nursing experience for anything. It has enriched my life, and hopefully made me a more well rounded person. It allowed me to travel to places that I otherwise would not have visited. I enjoyed the camaraderie of the military, the big family atmosphere, and the quiet serenity of living on the Army post."

In 1979 Bernice married her second husband, Charles Whiteside. Sixteen years later Bernice says she had a "big PTSD attack! I walked away from him and my home."

Bernice now lives in Greensboro, which is still a small college town with a strong history in textile and tobacco manufacturing. She enjoys traveling, gardening, singing with choral groups, aquatic aerobics, writing, and reading books about psychology, history and other non-fiction books. "I have always enjoyed the wit and wisdom of Ralph Waldo Emerson, the compelling words of courage in the poetry of Maya Angelo and the motivational writings from Joel Bryant’s Journey Toward Greatness. Of course, the book, which has affected the greatest influence on my life, is the Bible."

Greensboro has also become home to many Vietnamese refugees. That is one of the many places that some of the Montagnards, many of whom had aided the American troops in Vietnam, were first resettled after leaving their homeland.

Bernice said that when they first came to the area "it was rather difficult for the Vietnam Veterans who lived there." Even though the Americans never fought against the Montagnards, their mere presence caused many "incidents of flashbacks." The local Vet Center personnel were kept busy helping everyone adjust.

I’ve had the pleasure of meeting some Montagnards in my travels. They have been in attendance at some of the Veteran functions I speak at. They too have had to deal with their own forms of flashbacks and healing procedures. One way to do that is to visit The Wall whenever they can.

Bernice, like so many Veterans both male and female, has visited the Vietnam Memorial a number of times. She readily admits to being "overwhelmed the first time she went by the vast number of names on The Wall." Another time she went there on a foggy night and "felt haunted by the spirits of the dead." She was finally able to get etchings of several classmates’ names. "I wondered how many of them might have come past me in triage." I have heard the same sentiments from several other Veterans who were at Aid Stations, Evacuation Hospitals, Field Hospitals, and General Hospitals.

Once again I met someone who I thought for sure would know what a Gold Star Mother was. I was wrong! Bernice said, "I understand that they are a group of civilian ladies who served in Vietnam." I just had to tell her who they really were. Bernice responded, "Thanks for telling me who they are, I will be more attentive the next time that I meet one of them."

After meeting so many folks, both military and civilian, who didn’t know about the Gold Star Mothers I decided to add another section to this book just about them. Everyone should be educated in some way about this band of women I’ve come to know and hold dear to my heart.

Understanding how Bernice felt about her mother I’m glad that Beatrice was never put in a position to join the Gold Star Mothers. She had her own battles to wage. Beatrice was "the glue that held the entire family together after the passing of my grandmother. She was a very strong and courageous woman who fought colon cancer and a quadruple heart bypass concurrently. She passed in August of 1996 and left a big hole in my heart."

I grew up in a predominately White neighborhood although I had a few Black friends both in and out of school. When I began working I found myself going to other communities where there were more Blacks. I never had a problem although there were times I realized I was in the minority for a change. When I went to Basic Training at Fort McClellan in Alabama I met many more Black women and made friends with them. Throughout my life I’ve had Black friends. I’ve attended their family functions and funerals. For some reason I’ve always come away from the funerals with a sense that the Black family is so much closer than the White families. I wonder why that is.

Meanwhile I never once considered myself a racist in any way. So I was bold enough to ask Bernice if she would address the issue about racism in the military from her point of view. She responded.

Of course it existed because it was pervasive across the country. In a book entitled All That We Can Be, Moskos and Butler address the subject of racism in the army. They look at the roles of Afro-Americans in the Spanish-American War as well as all others that follow. Interestingly, they found that the Army was a forerunner in integration of this country. During the Vietnam Era, according to Moskos & Butler, racism in the Army was at its very worst in the late 60’s and 70’s.

None of my relatives talked a lot about racism in the military. They all went in the Army and got out after the war.

My step dad never talked about it. After he died I saw where he received the EAMET Campaign Medal with five Bronze Service Stars. He never told me but one war story and he joked about it.

He said "One night, I was riding in a troop convoy in a dangerous part of Germany. It was foggy and we were at a crossroads. My commanding officer asked me to get off the truck, stand on the corner and show the rest of the convoy which way to turn at the crossroads. However, he told me to get back on the last truck. I waved truck by truck along, and then there were no more trucks. I stood there in the freezing cold hour after hour waiting for the last truck. It never came. Finally, an officer came by in a jeep. He stopped and inquired as to why I was standing on a dangerous corner in the middle of the night. I told him what had happened." He said, "hop in soldier the last truck went by hours ago they should have stopped and picked you up." Dad just laughed and said, "I guess I just waved it on—not knowing it was the last truck." Maybe this was an honest mistake or maybe it was racism—we’ll never know.

I’m so glad I met Bernice through one of the online Internet email lists that I’m on called The Sanctuary. This list has opened me up to women who served in the military and as civilians both in Vietnam and other places around the world. Some of them are wives, lovers, and children of Vets. Many are involved with the POW-MIA issue because their loved ones didn’t come home yet. All these wonderful ladies have taught me a lot in the short time I’ve been corresponding with them. The Internet has indeed opened a New World to me—who hasn’t been many places.

Not only has Bernice been around our country and to Vietnam and Germany but she has also been to Paris, Venice, and Hong Kong. Hmm—and all I can say is I’ve been to Germany and Alaska, as well as many of the other states in our country.

Bernice hopes that someday she will have grandchildren to spoil. She also wants to travel a lot more but most of all she wants to sit down and write her own book about her amazing life. I can’t wait to see it in print myself!

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Capt. Denise Mitchell

Women At Risk: We Also Served